Chemical Reactions & Other Stories
by Milk and Glass
Summary: A challenge involving ten songs. Drabbles are written for each song. This is a multi-pairing compilation, involving two Private Practice drabbles.


**Tori Amos – The Beekeeper (Addison/Izzie)**

Flaxen hair blowing in the breeze – Addison bites down on the point of her collarbone, feeling Izzie gasp under her. They lie on a carpet of emerald grass, under a spreading oak tree, and take comfort in the fact that they are utterly, completely alone on this golden spring day.

It's a clandestine relationship, and Addison refuses to acknowledge Izzie when they're both working, bent over patients and grasping retractors. And as Izzie gasps in her climax, she's conflicted – how can Addison love her and view her as insignificant, all at once?

"Do you really know who I am?" The words fall like droplets on the air, and Addison's blue eyes darken.

"Of course I do."

Izzie rolls out from under Addison, feeling the soft grass against her back, listening to the shift and creak of the old branches overhead in the wind.

"Do you care enough?" The question is unexpected, and Addison's face sets.

"What's this about?"

But Izzie can't answer, because it's not enough to have sex on a spring day – a relationship means more than that.

"I just want more from you."

And Addison knows what she means. And there are a thousand reasons why she can't give Izzie what she wants, but what's the point?

She doesn't realize that she's said that out loud until Izzie turns her face away and folds her arms inside her hoodie.

Addison's still looking for something – but Izzie's not sure she's willing to wait for her anymore.

**My Strongest Suit – Idina Menzel (Mark/Lexie)**

Yeah, it's easy to be rational when you're not standing in front of a naked intern, your eyes tracing over every contour of her body, studying her curves.

It'd be easy to give Little Grey a pass – if you could only control this disease you've got.

So you take her in your arms, you kiss her neck, and you make love to her a little more gently than maybe you normally would have; but you have trouble staying detached. It's harder to ignore her charms. Maybe that's because she's trying hard to charm you. She knows the chink in your armour.

Later, you smoke a cigarette naked and watch her shimmy back into her silken panties, clasp her bra, and grin seductively at you.

"Did that convince you?"

"Convince me of what?" Your voice is rough from the cigarette smoke – it's been a long time since you've needed a smoke after sex.

"That I'm not just Meredith Grey's little sister."

"What does it matter? We weren't supposed to do this."

She pouts. "I like you better when you're biting my neck and shouting my name."

You tip her a lecherous glance. "I like you better naked, but you're not obliging me."

"My self-restraint is my strongest suit," she purrs, and pulls her long-sleeved shirt over her head.

Oh, don't you wish you could say the same!

**Gary Jules – Falling Awake (Alex/Ava)**

Saying goodbye to her was harder than expected. I pride myself on having no feelings – that's the way I am, but I didn't realize that you can pretend all you want. You're still lying to yourself, every time.

She's got tangled brown hair, but I remember when it was smooth and shining. I remember when her eyes weren't puffy with tears; when I didn't have to carry her into a hospital room, watch an IV drip sugar water into her veins because she won't eat.

And she remembers it too – I know she remembers, too. But again – we're lying to ourselves, pretending this could have ever worked out. We're both too fucked up for relationships. I suppose I got my comeuppance, for all the pain I've caused in the past.

She looks up at me through salty lashes and sighs in a shaky way. "I'm sorry," she says, for the thousandth time, and I want to scream, claw at my eyes, something.

But I don't say anything. I don't do anything. I just stroke her hair back, remember what brought us here, and try my best to smile for her, even though I want to cry, harder than she has all week.

This time, I don't stay, though. I don't comfort. This time, after I make sure she's comfortable, I leave. And I know that I won't be coming back.

That's just the way it goes – for me, anyway. I've learned to expect nothing less from life.

Sad, really.

**Vienna Teng – Feather Moon (Meredith/Derek)**

Some people wonder why you stay together. Some people, who don't see the little things, wonder how it's so easy for him to hurt you, but it's so easy for you to hurt him. It's hard to fathom a relationship based on hurt, but you do it . . . because there are too many other things that make it good to focus simply on pain.

Maybe it's the fact that you've always been happy being a masochist, though. There's something very satisfying about sitting out in the rain for hours, knowing that he'll have to pick you up from the creaking swing, and take you upstairs, cradling you in a warm bath, whispering in your ear.

And he's not completely free of masochism, either. He was married and he went back to her, even when he knew in his heart it would work. So, you really fit, the couple who's in it for the long haul, even when the long haul is paved with shards of glass.

You meet his mother and think you've blown it. You're not like the others and you're certainly not like Addison. But later that night, he finds you outside, under the dewy stars, and he presents you with one of your own.

The glittering diamond is a little big for your tiny, cold fingers, but he holds it there, and somehow, with his help, it fits.

You love him endlessly, and never know why. It's full of baby steps, this relationship, but you couldn't imagine taking a different road.

Breathe in, breathe out. Either way, you know he's there if you forget how to breathe.

**Tegan and Sarah – Fix You Up (Mark/Addison)**

When you were both running, there was a reason to try. And when you think about it, that's really not a good reason to try to maintain a relationship. Because when the race is done, there's no drive to make it work.

So you sit across from each other at the dinner table and eat warmed-over Alfredo pasta and think respectively about things that have nothing to do with each other until you end up throwing the fork across the room just to make something happen.

His eyes are surprised, but not shocked. "Problem, Addison?"

"You never talk to me anymore! We never have good sex anymore! I've faked it for the last three times!"

His face becomes amused. "Well, that really cuts me to the core."

"Shut up!" You get up, walk over to him, experimentally smack his face, and his cheek reddens where you've smacked it. "What the hell are we trying for? It's all fucking broken!"

In response, he kisses you deeply, so much that your lips start to hurt and bruise from his firm kiss. And you kiss him back, half to hurt him, and half to feel something, and are surprised when a spark ignites between you.

"So, we fix it," he says simply, shrugging. "I can only give you what I have, Addison."

Is it enough?

**Lisa Loeb – Fools Like Me (George/Izzie)**

I never thought that I'd regard my best friend as disgusting. You know me – I've been trying to seduce Izzie since the day I met her. Who wouldn't want to sleep with a model?

But maybe it was my awkwardness – maybe it was her hesitation. We never could make it work, and I added it to my failed relationships. And I almost wish that at the time, I had transferred to Mercy West, because it hasn't gotten any easier, trying to pretend everything's fine, even on the outside, where it really should seem to be.

We sit across from each other and I want to bury my head in my hands. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I feel useless, and I want to blame her.

In the end, though, it's as much my fault as hers. I fucked up my marriage – I fucked up my rebound girl, and I turned my best friend into someone I can't stand to look at.

It was her fault, too, don't get me wrong. So why do I feel like it's all on me?

I miss her. And I wish we could stop pretending. But I don't know how to make that happen.

I love her still. I guess I'm just a stupid fool.

**Meiko – Reasons To Love You (Cristina/Owen)**

Cristina's not one to mess around with feelings. As a surgeon, she focuses on science only. Love is for fools and people with proper emotions.

Knowing this, most men stay away from her. It's not as if she ever tries to charm anyone. She doesn't know how. She's two steps away from being diagnosed on the autism spectrum (and probably, she would have been, if this was this day and age) and she's just awkward.

When Major Owen Hunt appears, she's reeling from Burke. She's not in the mood for any other male chauvinist who fancies himself a hero. She's had enough of big shots who hide their insecurity poorly.

She doesn't need anyone to take care of her, but what she doesn't realize is that Owen needs someone to take care of him.

Suddenly, there are reasons to care. And suddenly, she finds herself pulling out of the pit of hurt she's been in since Burke, climbing out to think of someone else besides herself and her problems for a change.

Cristina isn't one to show emotion. But men with hunted eyes do something to her.

There are reasons to love him, this time.

**Tori Amos – Liquid Diamonds (Callie/Erica)**

When you pare it down to pure carnality, it makes it easier. Easier to lose yourself in her blonde hair, smelling of honey and roses. Easier to bite her skin; taste the astringency of her perfume on the curve of her breasts. Easier to forget all the tangled mess that comprises your thoughts on this relationship.

It actually is slightly disgusting. Why, you can't say. You feel a slight revulsion, even as your baser self reacts to her beauty – to her straightforward, I-get-what-I-want manner. Maybe it's society – and maybe it's you. It's never been easy to override what you've been taught. And for that, it's totally on you.

But her fingers are skilled – her touch sensitive. And what you might feel gets blurred out in a scream as her tongue touches your clit – as she makes love to you, and you can't think of anything else but your climax.

It's not fair, that afterwards, she's able to simply lie in bed, sipping at a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon while you take at least half an hour to find yourself in the melted mess that she's reduced you to.

"So, why do you have trouble with being gay?"

It's a fair question. One you can't answer right now, but a fair question. And you sigh. "I don't know."

"If it's not good enough for you . . ."

"No, it's almost too good for me." It's true – liquid diamonds sliding over your skin, glittering on your heart.

"So why?"

Do you dare to tell the truth? "I don't know what I want."

The wine goes down, sip by sip, but her face doesn't change.

"You'd better figure it out. I'm no whore, Callie Torres."

Are you?

**Jack's Mannequin – Rescued (Cooper/Charlotte)**

The last thing you expect is a palatial residence in the guise of "Gone With The Wind". You just don't expect it. Charlotte's not a Southern belle.

But when she comes to the door, you can see how she could be. Her face is softer here – she wears a lot less black. And there are tears on her cheeks. Her voice is smooth.

"What are you doing here?"

"Pay my respects?" Your voice is more glib than you want it to be, but that could be your saving grace, because instead of simply slamming the door in your face, as you deserve, she swings it wider.

The old man is dying by inches in a king-sized bed, but Charlotte doesn't recognize the irony of a man who abused to get to the top now the weakest link in the chain. You've heard abuse does that, but you've never seen it first hand.

She's the doctor, and she can't pull the plug. How ironic is that? But she refuses to let it show that it bothers her, that she's been his favourite and can't give him what he needs.

So you do it for her, despite your better judgement (and hers, you'd imagine).

Afterwards, on the plane home, when she's sobbing on your shoulder, so hard that you're afraid she really will break apart, you realize that it was foreordained.

You've always been useless, but today you've done a good deed. Despite her better judgement, you know she prefers to be rescued.

Who wouldn't?

**Vega 4 – Life Is Beautiful (Addison/Naomi)**

I've watched her since college. Watched over her, that is. She's always been one to get herself in trouble. Her judgement's grown, but her curiosity hasn't shrunk.

It's okay. That's what best friends are here for.

I don't mind when she calls me up crying in the middle of the night. I don't mind kissing her forehead like I would kiss Maya; trying to smooth out the worry lines as she considers her mistakes versus her victories. For Addison, sometimes they're the exact same thing.

And through the baby rabies – I've been there. I've done the tests on her five times and she never stops. She believes in miracles; it's part of the reason why I love her.

In the end, it's co-dependent. I'd be the first one to say that. But if someone's the mother here, it's me. And I don't mind it, really. Addison's always needed someone to take care of her; protect her from the harshness of life.

I love her, and maybe that's all. She certainly never asks for anything more.

She's beautiful, and I'm proud of her. That's all that needs to be said, I think.


End file.
